WHAT IS BPD?
Understanding Emotions:
What They Are and How They Work
Emotions are often misunderstood. They are frequently labeled as “good” or “bad,” praised when they feel pleasant and criticized when they feel uncomfortable or overwhelming. A more helpful way to understand emotions is to look at how they function rather than judging their presence.
Emotions can be described in a clear, non-judgmental way. When viewed through this lens, emotions become easier to understand, respond to, and work with—rather than something to fight against or suppress.
Emotions Are
Natural and Universal
Emotions are biological responses that all humans experience. They arise automatically in response to internal or external events and are not something we actively choose. Because emotions are part of our biological makeup, having emotions—whether strong or subtle—is a normal part of being human.
Emotions Have a Purpose
Emotions are functional. They serve important roles in daily life, including:
- Providing information about what is happening
- Motivating action
- Communicating to others
- Supporting survival and decision-making
From this perspective, emotions are not problems to be eliminated. No emotion is considered “bad” or “wrong.” Even emotions that feel uncomfortable or painful are performing a function.
Emotions Are
More Than Just Feelings
Emotions are not just internal feelings or thoughts. They are a multi-component process that typically includes:
- An emotional trigger or prompting event
- Thoughts and interpretations about the event
- Physical sensations in the body
- Action urges, or impulses to act in certain ways
- Behavioral expressions
Because emotions involve the body and behavior—not just the mind—they can feel intense and difficult to control. This intensity does not mean something is wrong; it reflects how interconnected emotional systems are.
Emotional Intensity Varies
People experience each emotion differently, and even the experience of the same emotions can be very different to different people. Some emotions rise slowly, while others appear quickly. Some feel mild, while others reach a high level of intensity and take longer to settle.
Emotion dysregulation refers to emotional responses that:
- Arise very quickly
- Reach high intensity
- Are slow to return to baseline
This pattern is best understood as a vulnerability, not a character flaw. Differences in emotional intensity reflect variations in biology, learning history, and life experience—not personal weakness.
Emotions Are Temporary
Even when emotions feel overwhelming, they are time-limited. Emotions naturally rise, peak, and fall. This is especially true when they are not being reinforced or avoided. Remembering that emotions wane over time can make intense emotional moments feel more manageable.
Emotions Can Be
Regulated, Not Eliminated
The goal is not to get rid of emotions. Instead, the focus is on learning to:
- Understand emotions
- Respond to them skillfully
- Reduce behaviors that increase emotional suffering
Emotions are always valid. Behaviors, however, can be evaluated based on how effective they are in the long term.
Emotions
Make Sense in Context
Emotions make sense when you consider the universe of what may be contributing to it, including biology, learning history, and current situation. The emotions are valid even when the behaviors that follow are harmful or ineffective.
Understanding emotions in context helps shift the focus away from blame and toward insight, compassion, and skill-building. By learning how emotions function—and why they exist—it becomes possible to relate to them with curiosity rather than judgment. This understanding creates space for more effective responses, healthier behaviors, and greater emotional well-being. When emotions become dysregulated, it often means the emotional system is overwhelmed and in need of support, understanding, and skillful regulation—not criticism or control.